When I was in my twenties, I hit a really difficult period where I felt completely ‘stuck’ in my life. I was making poor choices and my life was a weird combination of Groundhog Day while spinning out of control. The worst thing of all is I could see it happening, and yet I couldn’t seem to step out of the spiral. It was one of the most painful times in my life.
Like many people, I felt trapped by my choices, or lack of action thus far. When I looked at my life, I thought, “Is this it? Is this all there is? Is this all I am, and all I’m going to do with my life?” Living in quiet desperation, feeling scared and small and unseen, and even then – like it’s too late to change.
The thing is, as long as we’re breathing, it is never too late. We may look in our rear-view mirror and recognise some forks in the road that make us wish we could go back and make the other choice. But we can either grow from those mistakes and allow it to motivate us, or we run from it and allow it to deplete us. I highly recommend being motivated. There’s no point berating ourselves, there’s nothing that will make us feel more miserable and stuck if we do.
Instead, we start again, and we start NOW. We take what we know, and use the tools we have and plant ourselves new seeds. It doesn’t matter how long it takes to see a tiny green leaf pop through, just planting is good enough. In fact, just sticking our hands in the dirt is enough. Because in order to plant anything that will grow, we have to be working with love and focus and a willingness to put one foot in front of the other.
And when I’m talking about planting new seeds here, it could be anything. Maybe you feel totally stuck in your job, and it’s time to feed something that makes you feel a sense of purpose and meaning. Or if you feel stuck in a relationship, start with communication.
Or maybe there’s a destructive habit that’s holding you back – procrastination, numbing out on TV or social media, filling up on biscuits or that daily bottle of wine.
It’s probable you’ve already tried to change these things and failed. So what? Welcome to the human condition! Changing old patterns is often difficult for all of us and takes persistence. Failing and getting back up IS part of the process. Don’t give up on yourself. Nothing can grow in an environment that lacks hope.
Start today. Pick something, anything that will make you feel a sense of hope or excitement. Volunteering is always good. Giving of yourself is the fastest way to feel fulfilled. If that doesn’t speak to you, sign up for a yoga class and do something that nourishes both your body and mind. Shake things up. Find a way to start planting your tree today. Don’t wait.
Sending you love. Deborah